Mom 7.16.17

July 16th already. Life is too short and too fast. I have wasted so much time, and I am determined not to waste another minute in becoming who I ought to be. In fulfilling my potential.

Sam gave me a blessing tonight, promising me strength and health to do all the things I need to do. Now is the time for me to pray and pray and work and work to receive answers. I don't have as much time as I sometimes think I have, but I do have spare time, and I can do great things, even if they are small, in that time. I just need to work to figure out what the Lord would have me do with that time. I promised him that I would give him my life if he would only direct it. Now I need to have the confidence that he will. The truth is, I know I want to have another baby. I don't think I will die doing so. Schroeder needs a sibling. I don't feel done. That may be enough of an answer. I do not feel sick inside as I think about another child. That may be enough of an answer.

Small blessing today, something I felt might come from my efforts to serve. I ran into President Mortenson today and was able to get an ecclesiastical endorsement for myself and for Mary at church instead of having to go to the Stake offices. What a small blessing, but how great!

I need to kneel down with Mary when she returns and figure out what we can do for the people we visit teach. The stake high counselor gave a talk today about his own conversion and about the results of his faithful home teaching. I want to be that kind of faithful visiting teacher the Lord can call upon to minister to and take care of those around me.

I want so much to be like my savior every minute of every day. I want my nature to be changed, and I am thankful for the opportunities the Lord has put in my path to be that person.