Mom 7.5.17

I've been reading interviews and writings of my grandpa. I want to get more completely into his mind. I want to understand his faith better. I want to understand why he felt such a need to separate Christ from his church. Why the worry? Why the emphasis? Why not follow the Savior's example within the strictures of the church. I am startled by his thoughts on women and the priesthood. It indicates to me a lack of understanding on his part of what the priesthood is. It is the power of God given to mankind for the saving of souls and the building up of mankind. To assume that only those in certain positions have access to this power or have the ability to make a difference is not thinking very creatively. Maybe he hadn't thought about it much, but I wish I could speak with him now. I wish I could help him see or at least discuss with him the importance of organized religion to give us the ordinances and covenants we need to be born again.

He may have understood all of this, but that is what I am searching for. He was dangerously considered above the prophets by some. I wish he had seen this as a danger. Maybe he did. He should have been concerned. Many have used his name or his ideas as an excuse to leave, thereby forfeiting their blessings. This must be disturbing to him now.

I wish I understood better the Lord's will about this biography. I have felt the spirit several times this evening. One thing that was clear was the truth of this statement by my grandpa:

Perhaps I have belabored this point, but I feel that many of us are too complacent. Because of the remarkable events and teachings associated with the Restoration, we assume to know all about God and His Ways. When we act on that assumption, we reduce him to our image, and we lose our hunger and thirst for his truth and his righteousness. Jesus said, “And this is life eternal that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.” (John 17:3) To know them we must come to think as they think, feel as the feel, create as they create, love as they love. We must, as Christ did, receive grace for grace. This is an eternal quest.

Perhaps because of his position in the church, it was difficult for him to see the institution as a creative, vibrant, growing body, turning on the will of the Lord in ways to best suit his people. 

I wish I could speak with him now. I know he would listen to me. I know his heart.